Tips on How to be the Perfect Couple

You have come here to read this because of two things... #1 You are thinking " Ok lady, you think you know everything" or #2 you are desperate for some help! I can go ahead and tell you that I do not know everything, actually the more I learn the more I realize I don't know! 

We live a life viewing things through the lens of social media. Seeing the "perfect" pictures, "perfect" dates, "perfect" relationships. We then fall into the trap of believing this is their reality and ours doesn't measure up to it. What you came here to read is the answer to the question: How do we become the perfect couple? Let me answer that by saying you become the "perfect" couple by realizing your relationship will never be perfect. I mean what is the standard for 'perfect' anyway?  

My husband and I are not perfect, we are far from it actually. We are completely different in every way. We think differently. We like different things. We need different things from each other. We communicate differently. I guess you could say one thing we have in common is being different. 

If you look on social media you find  picture of our smiling faces. A picture with a beautiful background. 
What you don’t see is the brokenness that the Lord has made whole. The endless amounts of disagreements. The tears. The trials. You see, we are far from the perfect couple. One thing holds true through it all. The Lord is good. Love is an action not a feeling. We work to love each other. We stuck by each other’s side through it all.

Maybe you feel discouraged by all the perfect couples you see on social media. Maybe you see their perfect dates, perfect surprises, and perfect pictures. I can promise you this. There is hope. Don’t let the devil talk you into the comparison trap. Don’t compare the entirety of your relationship to the “perfect” points of someone else’s. Don't fall into the trap of comparing your spouse to someone else! Danny Silk says “ The quality of what you are building is ultimately up to you." Notice that it did not say it was up to both of you... it says it is up to YOU! In our marriage and in our life this has held true. You are in control of YOU not your spouse. If you would like to see changes in your relationship, it is up to you to change. It is not up to you to change your spouse! 

So if you find yourself discouraged do one thing today to love your significant other. Even if it’s hard. You have to start somewhere and that somewhere may be a selfless act through an argument. It may be forgiving your significant other, and surprising them with their favorite snack. Marriage is a continual act of selflessness. Once you exit selflessness you enter into a world of arguments, hurt and unhappiness. So I guess my answer to the question is to be the perfect couple... you evaluate where you are and where you want to be. You take steps to get there. Knowing that "perfection" isn't the goal. A healthy God glorifying relationship is the goal!

I will leave you with a few challenges that have helped my husband and I along the way:

1. Don't forget to date your spouse! Plan date nights, write them on your calendar, no excuses!

2. Read the book Keep Your Love On by Danny Silk... actually read it once a year.

3. Choose love.... every single time. Set out to make your spouse happy, not focusing on yourself.

3. Pray together! Spend time with Jesus together. Serve together!

4. Out honor one another in everything you do! Stop speaking negatively about your significant other! Your words speak life or death over your relationship!!!

God Bless You All,

Jenna Atchley